Rob Margetta is editor at the Flat Hat. That was the worst role he ever chose.

Critical Condition
Talent wasted in bad movies

By Rob Margetta
Flat Hat Editor.

Ever notice how some of the best talent out in film is being wasted doing terrible movies? You know ‹ you're watching a movie starring someone you love, and it's so bad that you spend the entire time watching it through your fingers, waiting for the next horrible plot twist to pop out.

I call it "When Bad Movies Happen to Good Actors" (on FOX Monday, at 8:30). There's a variety of ways in which this can happen to stars. There are guys like Nicholas Cage, who mistake big budgets and box office returns for quality. Then there are the Johnny Depps, who try to be obscure and avant-garde and end up in trash like "Ed Wood" and "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas."

But the absolute king of choosing the worst scripts possible is Brendan Fraser. Let me be perfectly clear - I like Fraser. He has that all-American nice guy thing going, and when he gets a good role, he plays it very well. Unfortunately, he gets those roles about, as often as Fiona Apple says something sane.

Let's look at his career in retrospect. He gets his big break, remarkably enough, in a Pauly Shore vehicle, "Encino Man." Then he goes on to the more mature "School Ties" and knocks one out of the park. The critics love him. The studios love him. So what does he do? More Pauly Shore flicks and "Airheads."

OK, OK, he was young; everyone's allowed some mistakes. A few mediocre indie films later, along with "George of the Jungle," which was hugely popular with kids, and he's in "Gods and Monsters," an Oscar-winner. Here we go. This was his break, the one that would get him back in the game.

But wait, wait Š Agh! What does he do? He stars in the pathetic "Indiana Jones" knockoff "The Mummy," the painful "Blast from the Past" and the flat-out embarrassing "Dudley Do-Right." Then there's one of his recent opuses: "Monkeybone."

"Monkeybone?" Just what the hell was he thinking? I'm struggling to picture his reaction to seeing the script. "What? The chance to star alongside Chris Kattan and a CGI bonobo that looks like the love child of King Kong and Gumby? It's the part I was born to play!"

I probably wouldn't be so frustrated with all the above actors if I didn't think they had potential. They're all cool guys. They've all had good roles. I just get the feeling that these days they lay every script mailed to them on the floor, hose them with a paintball gun and decide to act in whatever gets hit.

They're even more frustrating when you look at mediocre actors who pick solid gold scripts almost every time. Take Brad Pitt, for example. Yes, I know -- he's beautiful, he's a heck of a nice guy, etc. Fact is, compared to some of the talent in Hollywood, Pitt's raw acting ability falls between that of a parking meter and an ashtray. But almost everything he's been in lately has been great.

Sure, he started out doing drivel such as the (ahem) classic "Cool World," but just look what he's moved on to now. Since 1995, he's been in "Se7en," "Twelve Monkeys," "Fight Club" and "Snatch." Even when he's picked stinkers, he's picked those that have artistic aspirations, like "Meet Joe Black."

There are a host of others like Pitt. Look at John Travolta. He was a joke since "Urban Cowboy" hit theaters; then, over a decade later he lands "Pulp Fiction" and suddenly, due to follow-up films like "Get Shorty," he's respected again.

George Clooney made a similar turnaround. When I saw "Batman and Robin," I figured I'd seen the last of the king of cool hair. Now, I swear it's like the guy's a dowsing rod of cool movie concepts. He's been in "Out of Sight," "Three Kings" and "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" And folks, this is just since 1998! He's really not all that good an actor, but you can't fault him; he's developed great taste. I can now say that if he's in a movie, I'll probably see it.

So Nick, Johnny and Brendan, fire your agents, your friends, wives, pets or whoever chooses the movies you do. Take a look at what your cooler contemporaries are doing, and for God's sake, if something has the words "monkey" and "bone" in the title, burn the script and the courier who brought it, just to be safe.